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on July 05, 2018

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Is Arranged Marriage So Bad?

So—we’re here, and we’ve been living here. We spent our first week here with Puran and Bina, as Nepali a couple as you could find. Neither of them has ever left Nepal. Puran grew up picking tea on his family’s plantation; he poured us cups brewed from third flush leaves, apologizing that they weren’t first or second (the first flushes are sold abroad because they’re too valuable for Puran’s family to drink). Adding to their Nepali-ness is their background. Puran and Bina are of the Rai ethnic group. Like many Nepali with strong ethnic ties, their marriage was arranged. This was never obvious to me. They were never chilly or hostile, seemed to love each other completely. Even so, I found myself suspicious. Do Puran and Bina have to smile because Miranda and I are in their kitchen? Do they want to get away from the other, to find some personal space? Most importantly, are they dissatisfied—with the person they’re spending their life with, with the love they might not have...

A Homestay, A Stupa, and Many Monkeys

For the first seven days in Nepal, Ivan and I stayed with Puran and Bina Rai. The view from the stairwell of their home had more buildings than I may have ever seen in my entire life. Every day, we dodged colorful walls and monsoon pools to make it to our door. When it wasn't monsoon-ing (yep that's a word), we al fresco' ed on the rooftop, in true Kathmandu fashion. Down below, the streets were rarely empty. Unless it was early morning, like 8am. Then the streets were kind of empty. We spent our very first rupees at a cafe - on masala tea, of course. Every day was an adventure of the urban variety. The only thing wrong with a picture of only tuktuk traffic is that it misses all of the motorcycles. And when you're in KTM, you can't NOT hear the motorcycles. I have not yet experienced a ...

BANG (starting gun?)

hello world Miranda says that’s supposed to be the first thing you say in a new tech world, so there you go. Superstition satisfied. So, welcome! I’m Ivan, and if we keep to our planned division of labor, I’ll be doing most of the writing while Miranda does photos. She’s better at pictures. I’m not sure I’m better at writing – she’s a whole lot clearer than I am, in, like, all things – but I like this part better, I think. I dunno – maybe you should ask her. We’re starting this blog because 1.) I’ve been agitating for it for a few months, because I think I/we will be happy to read it later, and 2.) because we’re uprooting our lives and moving to Nepal, and figured we ought to follow the 2005 herd and blog about it. A little background about us: Miranda is a researcher with the University of Chicago’s SUPERgroup, where she researches usable security and privacy. Some other things I’ve seen her get excited about: cooking projects (she made a friend of hers an as...

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